Off With Their... Hats?!?
Just the other day, my wife & I sat down for lunch at one of our local Tim Hortons, a quick break between the errands we were frantically trying to get done before the days end. Seated next to us, a table and a half away, was a pair of elderly women, chatting away over their own lunches. Raising her voice as to be heard, one of the women said to her companion:
"David made me so angry yesterday. Do you know why? He actually wore his HAT to the dinner table! Young people today have no respect anymore. It makes me sick. It just makes me SICK!" Her sideways glance and intentional increase in volume made me realize that this little tirade had been for my benefit. I was, of course, wearing my favourite houndstooth ivy cap (worn backwards).
Her comment rankled me for three reasons. First, I was over tired and a tad under the weather. Second, the same woman had, moments earlier, shoved herself in front of my to get a plastic fork, almost send my entire tray of food to the floor. Needless to say, I was not in the best disposition for her critique.
The third reason, however, was what bothered me most. Working a great deal with "young people", the issue of hat etiquette comes up frequently, especially for men. I understand, and even respect, that previous generations find it inappropriate to wear hates in certain social situations. But in the end, we have to see that the nature of hat wearing and its social significance has change a great deal in recent generations.
For example, in my grandparents era, hats were worn far more formally. Men would wear hats to match their suits. They were symbols of maturity, position and sometimes even breeding. They were utilitarian fashions. They were worn almost exclusively outside. In truth, the were as much affectations as womens hats, but they had to be more "manly". Men, of course, did NOT accessorize.
Since then, it has become largely acceptable for guys to wear hates (and other accessories) for fashion without having to protect societal definitions of masculinity. It is inevitable, then, that the rules for hat wearing have changed too. Don't get me wrong. I am not about to wear a hat to a formal dinner, especially where my grandparents (and some of my parents) generation are present. Nor am I going to wear one to church or a funeral or a wedding. I try to be aware and cautious of those around me and their own socio-cultural values.
In the end, however, I am tired of defend myself and others against criticisms of impoliteness because I am wearing a piece of fabric on my head. It is time that we recognize the social norms can, will and, sometimes,must change. So, dang it, I am going to wear my hat while sitting in Tim Hortons!
Then again, perhaps all I need is a good nap.
"David made me so angry yesterday. Do you know why? He actually wore his HAT to the dinner table! Young people today have no respect anymore. It makes me sick. It just makes me SICK!" Her sideways glance and intentional increase in volume made me realize that this little tirade had been for my benefit. I was, of course, wearing my favourite houndstooth ivy cap (worn backwards).
Her comment rankled me for three reasons. First, I was over tired and a tad under the weather. Second, the same woman had, moments earlier, shoved herself in front of my to get a plastic fork, almost send my entire tray of food to the floor. Needless to say, I was not in the best disposition for her critique.
The third reason, however, was what bothered me most. Working a great deal with "young people", the issue of hat etiquette comes up frequently, especially for men. I understand, and even respect, that previous generations find it inappropriate to wear hates in certain social situations. But in the end, we have to see that the nature of hat wearing and its social significance has change a great deal in recent generations.
For example, in my grandparents era, hats were worn far more formally. Men would wear hats to match their suits. They were symbols of maturity, position and sometimes even breeding. They were utilitarian fashions. They were worn almost exclusively outside. In truth, the were as much affectations as womens hats, but they had to be more "manly". Men, of course, did NOT accessorize.
Since then, it has become largely acceptable for guys to wear hates (and other accessories) for fashion without having to protect societal definitions of masculinity. It is inevitable, then, that the rules for hat wearing have changed too. Don't get me wrong. I am not about to wear a hat to a formal dinner, especially where my grandparents (and some of my parents) generation are present. Nor am I going to wear one to church or a funeral or a wedding. I try to be aware and cautious of those around me and their own socio-cultural values.
In the end, however, I am tired of defend myself and others against criticisms of impoliteness because I am wearing a piece of fabric on my head. It is time that we recognize the social norms can, will and, sometimes,must change. So, dang it, I am going to wear my hat while sitting in Tim Hortons!
Then again, perhaps all I need is a good nap.
posted by Jamie at 11:40 a.m.
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